$)%$_(%_$%(_)

ARGH

I AM SO CONFUSED

I AM SO IRRITATED

I AM SO FRUSTRATED

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING

I CAN'T EXPLAIN THE PHENOMENON TOO

FAN FAN FAN FAN FAN

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WTFISH WTFISH WTFISH

P.S. i really feel like just screaming out now. but my neighbours are so going to call woodbridge to bring me away no doubt. ZZZ

****

i am so fucking pissed

pardon me for the bad language

but yes,

I AM FUCKING FUCKING PISSED

WHAT IS EVERY BODY'S PROBLEM TODAY!?

WTF

to that somebody,

you know who you are

it is only today i saw your true colours

or maybe i had already noticed but decided to give you a chance

but today,

you totally confirmed my theory

you are indeed a selfish person.

someone who cares only for your self but no one elses

even if you say that you are not,

your actions and personality will tell

you are truly a disappointment

and to the person that gave birth to me,

I FUCKING SWEAR THAT WHEN I REACH LEGAL AGE,

I.AM.MOVING.OUT

i must have owed you last life to be born to you

since you just LOVE to see me die in your hands,

i am so not going to let you have that pleasure

i am going to MOVE OUT,

get a GOOD JOB

and live a fucking live a FANTASTIC LIFE

by then, don't come running behind me to act as if you are anything to me

i have enough of you le

you maybe the person that gave me life,

but the violent actions and life threatening vows is enough to my heart die on you

please ask yourself,

since when did you ever do anything to contribute to bring us up?

i cannot even remember once that you ever spend your own money on a SINGLE MEAL during family night out

not to even say grocery shopping

it was always mummy who paid

so what rights do you have to take my life?

you are merely the person that made me

but not the one that molded me

i owe you nothing you know

not financially nor physically.

the almighty holyzac

I WANT TO BLOG I WANT TO BLOG I WANT TO BLOG~

haha

just suddenly had the urge to blog

so here i am now!

:D

was told to read ralph's blog last night

and saw his all so touching post about shawn writing a poem for him for his birthday

must admit, kind of cool (EH SHAWN, DON'T SAY I DON'T GIVE FACE OK!)

and the funniest part of it was when shawn p-med by saying,

"GO SEE RALPH'S BLOG! GO GO GO! WHOOO I AM FAMOUS!!"

i almost fell of the chair laughing man

CANNOT GROW UP SIA!

opps

XD

and to add to his excitement of being famous,

i shall post some of his famous pictures up here on my blog

EH SHAWN! NOW YOU ARE FAMOUS HERE TOO!

MUHAHAHAHA

i think after these photos he most properly won't help anymore with difficult modules

ah but who cares,

it is great entertainment that cannot be missed!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

so here goes...












LOL!

these are all pictures taken my charis when we went over to ask shawn for help pertaining th problem statment

LOOK AT ALL HIS POSITIONS!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh man. he can really be wired wrongly at times

ROFL!

charis still has some of his even more alluring photos

want to see them?

request from her by tagging her tagboard!

:D :D

P.S. shawn, you are now offically famous again. thank me? MUAHHAHA >=) jkjk :)

self actualization

i really cannot find the motivation to do anything nowadays man

i am getting from to lazier to LAZIEST

@_@

tell you all something ok?

i really need to achieve self actualization man.

what is self actualization you all might ask?

haha.

self actualization is the achievement of one's full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world (taken from dictionary.com?)

XD

don't ask me why must i do that

cause

i also don't know

haha.

i just feel that there is a need for that

XP

i went for the hairstyling workshop today

it was damn fun man

i would elaborate on my next post *if i am ever not going to be so lazy*

i am sick and really sleepy

BUAY PEOPLE!

random: I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO PRINT SCREEN WITH MY MAC BOOK KEYBOARD!!

evidence

YAY!!

XD

officially too lazy

shall update next time!

XP

complete makeover

ok, i am posting this in class now.

the problem statment today is way brain racking

i am still stuck at worksheet question 3

SIGH

i had the sudden urge to change my blog's url

had always thought it sounded cheesy and arrogent

but there are still many doubts involved

if i requested to be linked back,

will people do so?

so guys,

will you all link me back? haha.

ok, i have decided.

I AM CHANGING MY BLOG'S URL

and maybe my blog's layout and background

COMPLETE REVAMP!

and i have to do something to my room too

i can't continue to share a room with my brother forever.

have to start packing to space out another additional room

HAHA

busy busy busy.

but i like it.

>=)

MUHAHAHAHAHA

XD

a special thanks..

SYAFIQ FYQ~

i said i would try my best to blog about you,

and here i am blogging about you!

HEE HEE XD

thank you so much for being there for me every time i have an emotional breakdown

even though there were time that we argued and played cold war,

you are still someone that lends your ears to me every time,

cared for me when i am sick

asking me whether i am ok or not

so now

I AM THANKING YOU PERSONALLY HERE!

you are the best

:D

ok, i did not go to school today

cause i had very bad gastric

you know something?

gastric totally sucks

it makes you feel totally sour and queasy inside

prevents you from eating good food too

which is a massive letdown cause food is my living pillar

HAHA

totally slacked the day off today

watched vampire knight all over again

seriously love the plot the characters

ZERO!!~

charis you got kaname ready so don't come snatch mine.

MUHAHAHA

wth

-.-""

had alot of thought bubbles today

each reaching a different conclusion

maybe i am an emo kid after all

just can't seem to be truly happy

hmmm.

haiya,

whatever la

i'm sure one of these days i will find true happiness.

don't you all think so?

:D

i want my old self back

i sat on the bus and reflected on a lot of things

i realized that i have been stupid

crazy

dreaming too much on glamour

which isn't me at all.

i used to look at those pretty girls and envy them

and tried to be like them

got obsessed

then now i realized,

i don't want any of these

this not the lifestyle i desire

i want my old and decent lifestyle back

i want to be the Innocent,know nothing brenda back

which i know it is impossible

cause information fed to you isn't that easy to erase

sigh

i am going to go back to old self and am striving very hard for it

i..

sigh

really don't know what to say man....

ZZZ

i have so many things up in my head now.

i am missing someone i should not miss

i should have been serious to someone but i didn't

i should have not let things get to where they are now not but i couldn't

oh man

damn screwed up recently

life is literally a roller coaster ride for me in these periods

i enjoyed

and i cried

been so enthusiastic

and can't be bothered

whatever la~

i know things will turn out straight again

all i need is patience.

P.S. i really can't be bothered by some people la. when i said enough means really enough. ignoring is the best remedy to anything.

a lesson learnt

i just realized something drastic.

i have overspent A LOT this 2 months

it is close to 1 k

T.T

i know i know

you all are so going to change your opinions of me.

but i understand

i can't even forgive myself

i just don't understand

i use to be very against people using money like nothing

but i am one of them now

but when i realized how much deep shit i am in,

it is too late.

i am still lucky that i had worked during the holidays to recover my losses

but i am still devastated at the fact that i actually used so much

so from now on,

i am not spending money

serious

i am going to bring food to school

or maybe just fast with my Malay friends

oh my tian

i really need some motivation

would you all help me?

i really don't want the spending bug to continue infecting me

i want to be the old, stingy, money saving ah soh brenda back

i don't want to spend and spend even before i know how to earn

i feel so bad towards mummy now

so sorry for spending so much

i promise i have learnt my lesson

hard one too.

may my will be with me..

woah.

woah.

what a nice way to start the uber early morning

so many things happened all at one time

i really need time to digest

in a semi confused and stricken state now

need time to sort things out...

bad english. SO WHAT?

I just don’t understand man

What is wrong with bad language or bad English in my blog?

I mean,

THIS IS A BLOG FOR GOODNESS SAKE

AN ONLINE DIARY

A SPACE OF MY OWN

SO I WANT TO WRITE BROKEN ENGLISH CANNOT AH?

I don’t want to be pressurized into writing perfect English every time I want to blog

So long as people understand,

The message is delivered right?

Why be so particular about it?

This is not an English composition paper you know

THIS IS A REFLECTION, A THOUGHT,AN EXPRESSION OF MY FEELINGS

You should be grateful I don’t type like this

“wahhxx t0dayy s0 h0tx lehhx. S0 iriitattiingg! Bllehhxx “

So I suggest to you a better solution if you can’t stand my language.

JUST LEAVE

Enjoy commenting so much on other people’s language?

go sign yourself up as an English teacher and comment there

There is absolutely no need for any here.

untitled

*EDITED* (before anymore people comment on my bad language)


i am now sitting in class in the mist of my classmates

but i feel like they don't exist at all

i cannot explain why i am having these kind of deceptions

maybe the emo bug had came and knock on my door again

everything seems to be so quiet nowadays

it feels as if i am living in this world all alone

i had a emotional breakdown last night

it made the window looked so tempting

damn those caged windows

i cried

cried like there is no tomorrow

i screamed

screamed like the world hates me

i may joke around

but no one knows it better than myself

i am just trying to look normal

feel so small inside

no one really understands

i used to have my family to run back to

but now even they have abandoned me

i know this sound like what any random teenager

but this is exactly what i am going through

i hate being emo

hate the feeling of pain

but i can't help it

i am stressed

stressed to do the impossible

sorry people

but i really need some care and concern now

may sound attention seeking

but i don't care

cause it is so going to make me feel better

save me, mummy

guess i have not updated for a long time eh.

i have a lot of things to talk about

a lot of things to express

but i just don't know where to start

am also wondering whether it is appropriate to have everything down here.

there are ups and downs between these periods

and i wonder what should i put down?

should i just put only the happy ones like what charis asked me to?

or should i include the deep sounds within my heart that i am dying to shout out?

i really don't know

i understand nobody likes to read emo post

i personally do not like to read them too

but it is only over here i can express my pain

without upfront confrontation.

i hope you guys understand.

i am honestly not in the mood to post anything happy

it just makes me feel worse about life

i fake a smile but nobody knows

even charis you don't know it

how nice to see you laugh when i told you that

but you know i kind of feel a little sad when i said that

well never mind

that is over so

forget it.

life have been topsy turvy recently

everyone is slowly leaving me

i feel lonely

home does not feel like home anymore

how i wish you will stop doing all these to me mummy

don't you know verbal and mental punishment is so much more hurting then physical ones?

every time you said something to hurt me, do you know how frustrated and helpless i feel?

no, i don't think you do

i tried to obey you as much as i can

but i really feel breathless

you are holding me too tight.

i need some space to breath

i love you

you know that very well

i know i have not grown up according to your plans

and i did not live up to your expectations

but i tried

i really tried

i cannot help myself from crying as i type this

cause the pain inside can never subside

the hurting words you said to me cannot never be erased

can you stop making it seems like you don't care anymore?

cause i want you to care

i want you to know i respect you more then anyone else in this world

but you don't seem to understand

help me mummmy

save me from the deep agony that you pushed me into..

**********

i don't know why i keep thinking of you

maybe because loneliness is overwhelming me ba

suzumiya haruhi

i promised i would test run my costume today right?

ok

here it is

quite cmi i must say

there is a urgent need to do something to my hairband bow

if not i will end up looking like shriek

-3-

don't believe

take a look





pardon my shagged look

am really very tired ready

there are many others

but i am too sleepy to bother already

hope i can still pass

>.<

ok la people

i need to sleep le

NIGHTS!

WHERE IS EVERYBODY!?!?

i am urging for someone to talk to tonight

but when i logged on to msn

ALMOST ALL THE TALKABLE PEOPLE ARE ALL NOT ONLINE

oh man.

talk about being cut off from the world

is there something that i don't know about?

why are there nobody online already at this hour?

not very usual you know.

normally even till 1 am in the morning you still see people online

EVEN W35E ONLY HAS ONE PERSON ONLINE!!

WTH

WHERE IS EVERBODY!?!?

SOME SURPRISE PARTY I AM NOT INVITED TO!?!?

OR IS EVERYBODY REALLY THAT TIRED TODAY!?!?

oh my tian.

i really need someone to talk to now

anyone offer me a instant message?

T3T

P.S. i have not done my test run of my suzumiya haruhi cosplay costume.

i keep telling myself that i need to do it

but everytime i either am too lazy or too tired to do so

someone please spank me into doing it??

ARGHHHHHHHH

EVERYTHING IS IN A MESS

TOPSY TURVY

CHAOS

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*faints*

*remembers that have not said bye yet*

*wakes up*

BUAY PEOPLE!!

*goes back to fainting mode*

HAHAHA

lame

XD

boring life

i got my new blog song from charis's friend's blog

I SIMPLY LOVE THIS SONG!!

i was looking for it in umpteen years man

AND NOW I FOUND IT!!

:D:D

charis's friend, i hope you don't mind!

:D

life is boring today so i won't elaborate

guess i am really turning into a lazy bum

HOW HOW HOW!?!?

SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!

T3T

ok la

enough of crap

BUAY!!

XD

a lovely day

hi.

i am now blogging in school while waiting for my mum

just one sentence to say

I AM STARTING TO LIKE MY CLASS ALREADY!

:D:D

we had a lot of fun today

all thanks to eda!

*loves*

i finally found another person as crazy as me!

YAY!!

XD

so my future time in W16R can be as crazy as possible

not worrying about the fact that it would embaress me

ALL HAIL TO EDA!

WHOOTS!!~

i met the most amazing facilitator today as while

he actually offered to help me change my hard disk man!!

but i think i portray to him as a bimbotic girl that spends a lot

cause i was going around shrieking about how sucky my macbook was

and how i bought my macbook for its looks(partcially)

-.-

die

give people a wrong impression

ZZZZZZ

Allan asked me to send my particulars and my photos over for him and the client

DIE

my photos are CMI one la

i can't even believe he picked me to be a model

like so -.-

but the pay is good :D

must work hard to replenished the huge amount i spent

T3T

*****************************

mass convo with my sony peeps again tonight

I AM REALLY GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO MEET THEM LA!!

THEY ARE LIKE THE MOST FUN PEOPLE EVER!!

got old ones

young ones

quiet ones

pai kia ones

drama freak

married man

eat potatos one

HAIYA

EVERYTHING ALSO GOT LA

CAN'T WAIT FOR MON(PAYDAY) TO MEET THEM LA!

although i am not settled with the pay problem

BUT CAN FINALLY MEET UP WITH MY FUN PEEPS

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!~~

*MONDAY FASTER COME*

JGIG camp is on friday and saturday

and on sat we are having our first ever cosplay event!!

i really scared i cmi la

-.-

WO MEN YI QI JIA YOU BA KISA!!

:D:D

07-09-08

please tell me

for the biggest mp4 player on top

HOW TO DIFFERENTCIATE!?!?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

******************************

kevin said a sentence just now

"haiya. he is the type of person that will only care about himself one la"

and it suddenly struck me

what kevin have said was really true

there was never once i saw him doing anything to benefit anybody but himself

i was too much into a dream

lost in his sweet words

i guess i am indeed too naive

but no worries

i am awakened

thanks kevin for waking me up

i will be more careful from now onwards.

:D

**************************

went out for pigging out session just now with kevin and kaiboon

cause kaiboon is going tekong this friday le

no more potential slacker to call when i am bored le

T.T

LOL!

went to eat smelly tofu first

then pigs organ soup

then dao hui (beancurd)

LOL

i cannot believe i ate so much la

-.-

until now i still feeling so full man

die

later cannot sleep tonight

HAHA

all the best to your botak days ba kaiboon!

don't play 15 year old until over fire hor!

HAHA

XD

*****************************

I GOT MY HARUHI SUZUMIYA'S COSTUME TODAY!!

WHEEEEEEEE!!~~

*skips around the room with joy*

oh my tian.

so bimbotic

ok

time to snap back to reality

LOL!

XD

will post pictures of it soon

provided i am not lazy

LOL!

MOTIVATE ME BY TAGGING MY BOARD!!

lol

wth

-.-"

went with charis and sone anne(new friend. HI! :D) to pan in the box today

saw the guy that cosplay the ____________ from naruto loh! (don't know the characters name -.-)

apparently he always cosplay that character without fail.

LOL!

charis and i both think he is kind of cute

he drew his eyebrows somemore loh!

and so shy

HAHA!

went around to find charis's leather shoes after we made our purchase

and i finally bought my silicon case for my phone

*LOVES*

LOL!

ok then

i shall end off with..

CHEATED

This was suppose to be posted yesterday

but i was too devestated that i could not type anything down

i recieved a call from **(the company i am under during comex)(censored) yesterday

"Hello, is this brenda? i think you told the customers wrong information. she insist that you told her and want a change. you need to settle this.."

WTF

THE CUSTOMER INSIST THAT I TOLD HER THE SET HAS BLUETOOTH BUT IN FACT IT DOESN'T

!!!

I DID NOT LA!

to feed you all with a little insights of the problem

THE PROBLEM LIES WITH THE BROCHURE THAT THEY ASK US TO GIVE OUT LA

if i manange to find the brochure i will show it to you all

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

they put the blutooth series and non bluetooth together

under the same digram,

under the same column!!

HOW CAN THE CUSTOMER DIFFERENCIATE!?!?

to those who have once looked at the brochure you all will know

AND NOW ALL THE BLAME IS PUT ON ME!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*FAINTS*

apparently i need to pay for whatever the customers insist on changing

AND SHE IS USING HER USED ONE TO CHANGE FOR A BRAND NEW ONE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think there goes all the hard earned commission i slogged for

maybe even the basic pay will be deducted also

in short,

I MAY NOT BE PAID FOR MY 4 DAYS HARDWORK!!

FUCK

if those who know, and those who have been reading my entries

I WAS FREAKING SICK DURING THE SHOW LA

BUT I STILL SLOGGED FOR THEM AND SOLD SO MANY SETS FOR THEM

AND NOW THEY ARE DOING THIS TO ME!?!?

I AM ONLY A PART TIME WORKER LEH

THE MONEY MAY BE LITTLE BUT IMPORTANT TO ME LA

DAMN IT

sigh

how suay can i get man

ZZZZZZZZZZ

my parents even told me to go to ministry of manpower to complaint

but neh mind ba

duo yi shi bu ru shao yi shi

forget it ba

*DISCLAIMER:THIS IS PLAINLY FOR MY RANTING USAGE. COMPANY NAME WILL NOT BE DISCLOSED.

W890i

YO PEOPLE!

today i am going to introduce to you my new phone!

*drum rolls*

SONY ERICSSION W890i !!!

the lovely W890i and me! :D


the front,


the back,


and look how slim it is!


it also has a 3.2 megapixel camera but sadly,

no optical zoom

nor any flash light to go with it.

ah well,

you cannot expect much when you merely spend so little on it

HAHA!

but nevertheless,

I LOVE MY NEW PHONE!!



i know i know

you all are sure to ask me what's up with my outfit

-.-

i just came back from my cousin's wedding dinner la

and i was going retro in my dressing

HAHA

that explains the big red bow on my head right?

>.<

speaking of the wedding,

i took some photos during the wedding cause i was bored

but i guess it is alright?

i mean who doesn't get bored when all the adults start talking to each other

and you are left alone

so i did some photo taking indulgence

HAHA

pardon the bad quality of the photos

cause the lighting there was terrible

and my hands were shivering due to the cold

however so,

i hope you all will enjoy it!

:D

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thats all people

i am lazy to explain the pictures

refer and analysis yourself ba

LOL!

BYE!

:D

I MISS W35E

IMY LAZY TO BLOG!!

yeap.

you read it

so i may just go on a blog hibernation for a few days before i post again

haha

no mood to do anything recently

have been constantly falling sick ever since comex

ZZZZZZZZ

school is boring as usual

AND HOW I MISS W35E LA!

i must be honest to say that i don't really like my current class

don't ask me why but nothing can replace W35E

where there was endless fun and laughter

W35E-ians!

AGREE WITH ME!?

T.T

officially joined JCIG

going for their camp and cosplaying event on the 15

SO EXCITED MAN!!

but i still not sure what to cosplay as

any suggestions people?

can tag me on my tagboard!

:D:D

ok la

i shall end here and go do my dwelling RJ

oh man

school sucks without W35E

oh well

guess i would just have to live with it

SUCK IT UP BRENDA!

HAHA

BYE PEOPLE!

estelle oh estelle

WHOOTS!

HI EVERYBODY!

I AM HERE TODAY TO INTRODUCE YOU TO AN AWESOME BLOG TO VISIT WHEN YOU ARE BORED

YES ESTELLE BABE

I AM TALKING ABOUT YOUR BLOG!

HAHA

FILLED WITH FREAKISHLY LOADS OF FUN

LOADS OF VULGARITIES

MOUNTAINS OF RANDOM SHIT

BUT ALL IN ALL

ENDLESS ENTERTAINMENT!!

WHEEEEEE!~

I LOVE ESTELLE

YOUR BLOG IS A.W.E.S.O.M.E (sounds familiar? XD)

*random. but her blog is really a mind blower. don't believe? click on this, www.sheisweird1234.blogspot.com

**********************

i am kind of getting lazy to blog nowadays

got a whole load of random shit to blah out

but just can't get my lazy fingers to move

ZZZZZZZZZ

i am suppose to go back to school to repair my lappie

but i am still waiting for charis to wake up

ARGH

i just feel so uneasy not working man

maybe you all are right

i may really be a workaholic

but who won't love work when is so fun, fun, FUN!?

HAHA!

I MISSING YOU ALL SONY WALKMAN PEEPS!

I TRUELY AM!

oh my tian

sounds so wrong

tomorrow is the start of the brand new semester

ARGH again

i just feel so lazy to go school

-.-

Radom quiz : what did i eat for breakfast today?

LOL!

wth

-.-

i don't think anyone would really go and guess la

haha

but in any fact you would really like to try,

tell me your answer on my tagboard!

HAHA

L.A.M.E

XD

I WANT A 3G PHONE!!

I CAME TO FREAKING RANT ABOUT SOMETHING

MY MUM HAS A 3G PHONE

MY DAD HAS A 3G PHONE

MY AUNT HAS A 3G PHONE

MY UNCLE HAS A 3G PHONE

AND

AND

AND

MY G.R.A.N.D.M.A HAS A 3.5G PHONE!!!

WTF

and i still using a normal phone

my grandma even knows how to VIDEO CALL la

-.-

I WANT A 3G PHONE TOO LA

T.T

i feel older than my grandma man

ZZZZZZ

YO FELLOW EARTHLINGS!

BRENDA IS BACK!!!

ROFL!

yesterday was the end of the comex IT fair

AND I SO MISS THE SONY WALKMAN PEOPLE LA

all the way from charis to carrina!!!

wth

although it was really tough work la

but it was all fun at the same time

:D:D

chris say that he will email us the whole entire list of our numbers and msn

but he have not done it

hope he does not forget or be too lazy to send it out

:X

btw

sorry for the lack of photos

number 1,

I WAS FREAKING BUSY WITH SALES

the crowd was endless la

and you really meet all kinds of different people man

number 2,

I WAS FREAKING SICK

that kinda made me lazy to whip my phone to take pictures

i mean i can't even stand right already

how to take pictures?

-.-

anyway, i really enjoyed myself there

i even met a marvin (participant of mr.sui) wannabe

only he was so much taller

heard from charis that is a mixed tawianese

like WTF!?

DON'T LOOK LIKE LA

but he can really use the ang moh slang well

eat potato grow up one

HAHA!

ok la

i am still not feeling very well

my head is pounding while typing this

shall end here

BYE!

*notice i did not even put a title for this post. TOO LAZY