The light finally revealed

15 years of doubts is finally cleared.

It did not come as such a big surprise after all.

Since 5 I had the suspicion there already.

And now after 10 years, when I'm 15, I finally knew.

I'm sorry mummy for not understanding you.

I never knew the much of suffering you got thrown upon you.

I caused you umpteen agony.

I was paranoid that I was in the mist of everything yet not known to anything.

For now I know, I will promise you something mummy,

I WILL provide for you to the plentiful age that you decide to leave us.

Even when that happens, I will make sure that your secret is safe with me if you don't want it to be revealed.

I'm sorry mummy for the amount of mischief I had got myself into.

Mummy, Just remember, No matter what happens, you will always have us, daddy, me and boon kiat.

Don't give up....JIA YOU!

some random thoughts in chinese

人，是不是个个都那么无情？
接近你的人是不是个个怀有心机？
人类就不可以诚心地对待他人吗？
就不可以不带有色眼镜去看人吗？
但这些都不可能发生，因为人就是那么的自私自利。

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人的内心总会怀有不可告人的秘密，而真正能把秘密说出来的，才是最快乐的人。

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爱情， 友情和亲情是永恒的吗？我想了很久却始终找不到答案。

well...that kind of explains why is my life so messy right? I think too much on things that I should not think about. ＳＯＭＥＯＮＥ ＨＥＬＰ ＭＥ！！！

my life is so messy

My life is so seriously screwed up that sometimes I just feel like sleeping and not walking up ever again. I have problems at home, I have problems with my friends and problems in school work. I simply cannot find an excuse to motivate myself even if I have to. Who can with so many things to worry about?

Many of you might say,

"hey, you don't look like such a pessimistic person...Didn't I see you laughing and enjoying yourself just now?"


Well then I just have one thing to tell you, you don't know me well at all. For the more I laugh, the more I joke and play with you all is only trying to cover up for the amount of disappointment, pain and agony I feel inside.


Maybe all these are a part of growing up and I have to go through it. Alone.


Nobody actually takes the effort, not even my best friend, to ask me what am I going through. Even if I attempt to talk to my good friend about it, what I get back is a bunch of scoldings and insults and please mind you, I may the only person who won't retaliate and talk back.


So please, you might think that you are correcting me but at that moment of time what I need is a listening ear but not someone who is going to make me feel worse. I am a human being with flesh and blood too so don't vent your anger on me. I feel hurt too mind you. You are not the only one with the temper.

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ARGHH this doesn't sound right at all. Everybody is going through the same thing I guess? Don't you find reading this particular post at some other blogs too?


May be this something everybody who has to go through and I have to learn and accept it.