memories

i swallowed a whole toothbrush full of toothpaste just now and i suddenly thought of him...well, i know i should not and I'm also advised not to, but some how or another he just automatically floats into my mind....and i can't help it....we had not been talking to each other for months now and i really have no idea why i still cannot get him off my mind...maybe it is because we were so similar and i could understand what he is going through at that period of time...



i disappointed him...we had a lot of good memories together. although they were always on the
phone...but i feel that we could relate and we talked about things that i never thought i would talk to a guy about...most importantly,he was a true friend....


yet now, i don't even know how he is doing...only hearing news about him from some other people...i knew from then we could never be friends again...i tried...don't say i had not...to tell you that i was not ready...but some how you scared me....very much indeed...and i was avoiding you...thinking it was the right thing to do....but now...i can only feel emptiness....



you were my listening ear, you were my adviser. you were my entertainer, you were my friend..



now...i would forever lost you cause i do not have the courage like you to talk things out...i regret it, however even if you turn back the time, i would still do the same things....




because I'm a coward....